POEMS


Down South

I'm no expert on sex.
I just know I like it,
and want more than I get. 
For the longest time,
I wanted a larger penis. 
I don't know why,
it seems every woman I've ever been with
is more interested in my tongue anyway. 
But being a semi observant Jew,
it all makes sense. 
You probably didn’t know there are actually 613 commandments.
That's 603 more than the ten that get press. 
At least a couple,
and probably more,
have to do with sex. 
They’re rather explicit too.
One says it's a man's duty to satisfy the woman first during intimacy;
that might have been the clincher in my Episcopalian wife's conversion. 
The one I like says Jews are supposed to have weekly relations,
preferably on Saturday, our Sabbath.
Comes under the heading of “Be fruitful and multiply.” 
Now, I wouldn't say my wife and I are on the same page libido wise,
but on a good day, we’re definitely at the same restaurant.